Funny But True Quotes

“A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.” Have you ever heard someone say something that didn’t quite make sense but still got you to smile?

This collection of quotes is dedicated to the less than brilliant, but still very funny lines that made us think for second, but eventually produced a smile.

steven wright

20 Funny But True Quotes – Think & Laugh

1. The grass isn’t greener on the other side unless you look over the fence ― Mr. Earl

2. He who laughs last … just didn’t get the joke. ― Carroll Bryant

3. I am not sure if women are attracted to genius. Can you imagine the wise wizard winning the woman over the gallant swordsman? It seems rather otherworldly in more ways than one. ― Criss Jami

4. I used to be stupid but I’ve turned that situation around 360 degrees. – Scott Adams

5. If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely? ― George Carlin

6. In the fashion industry, everything goes retro except the prices. ― Criss Jami

7. What’s another word for Thesaurus? – Steven Wright

8. Somewhere in the crowd was at least one potential friend who’d understand the fundamental value of goofing off. Because if not, how boring would that be? ― Alyson Noel

9. Girls are always complaining that they can never meet a nice guy. Nice guys are everywhere. The problem isn’t that there aren’t any nice guys, the problem is that all of the nice guys are ugly. ― Carroll Bryant

10. Give some people an inch, and they think they are rulers. - Unknown

11. If a cluttered desk is characteristic of a cluttered mind, what does an empty desk mean? - Unknown

12. Laws are like sausages. It’s better not to see them being made. – Otto von Bismarck

13. To err is human, to forgive is against company policy. - Lew Wasserman

14. You can’t have everything where will you put it? – Steven Wright

15. Honk if you love peace and quiet. - Unknown

16. Slap-stick comedy is really funny, unless you’re the one getting slapped with the stick. ― Carroll Bryant

17. Science is everything we understand well enough to explain to a computer. Art is everything else. – David Knuth

18. It’s not an optical illusion. It just looks like one. – Phil White

19. I did what all good Irish dads do when faced with a worthy adversary..I said Ask your mother!! ― Eoin Colfer

20. If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out? – Will Rogers

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