22 Funny Movie Quotes

There is something special about a great comedy. It didn’t matter if it was the first or or the twentieth time you see it; it still has you laughing so much your face hurts.

In the spirit of these great comedies, we put together a list of funny movie quotes to highlight some of the best lines from some of the best comedies. We hope you enjoy.

Funny Movie Lines

Our Favorite Funny Movie Lines

1. Excuse me stewardess, I speak jive. — Airplane

2. Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here! This is the War Room! — Dr. Strangelove

3. Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m a schizophrenic and so am I. – What About Bob

4. Ray, next time someone asks you if you’re a god, you say YES! — Ghostbusters

5. Ugh, I can actually hear you getting fatter. – Tommy Boy

6. Yeah I called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something, I don’t know, I wasn’t really paying attention. – Dumb and Dumber

7. Why didn’t somebody tell me my ass was so big? — Spaceballs

8. As long as people are still having premarital sex with many anonymous partners while at the same time experimenting with mind-expanding drugs in a consequence free environment, I’ll be sound as a pound! – Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

9. If I’m not back in five minutes… wait longer! – Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

10. I’m so rich, I wish I had a dime for every dime I have. – Arthur

11. There’s no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you’ll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane? – Airplane

12. Call it women’s intuition, or ESPN, or both, but I can tell when danger’s near… – Scary Movie 3

13. Derek Zoolander: Why do you hate models, Matilda? Matilda: Honestly? Hansel: Yes. Matilda: I think they’re vain, stupid, and incredibly self-centered. Hansel: I totally agree with you. But how do you feel about male models? – Zoolander

14. Stu: Am I nuts, Edith? Edith: Are you asking me as a therapist or as a wife? Stu: Which one is cheaper? – The Big Year

15. Attention. Here’s an update on tonight’s dinner. It was veal. I repeat, veal. The winner of tonight’s mystery meat contest is Jeffrey Corbin who guessed ‘some kind of beef. – Spaceballs

16. The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone else when you’re uncool. — Almost Famous

17. Like a midget at a urinal, I was going to have to stay on my toes.” – The Naked Gun 33 1/2

18. I know, I know. We are your chosen people. But once in a while can’t you choose someone else? – Fiddler On The Roof

19. I was born a poor black child. — The Jerk

20. I’m a mog – half man, half dog. I’m my own best friend. – Spaceballs

21. Son, you got a panty on your head. — Raising Arizona

22. I respect women! I love women! I respect them so much I completely stay away from them! – The 40 Year Old Virgin

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